What’s Love Got To Do With It
No doubt you too have noticed all of the declarations for and about love this month, complete with requisite festooning in shades of pink, red, and purple.
Against the backdrop of the season -love stands bold, much like the male cardinal in winter’s snow. It -love, that is, -like our fiery red feathered friend, seems destined to prevail in spite of all that is so very -not love in the world.
If you’re like me- then we’ve been carrying heartbreak and pain and mental anguish in our hearts and in our minds for days… upon days… upon days.
If you’re like me- then we’ve been anguished at the seemingly apparent inadequacies of our efforts to speak out and to stop the horrors. If we dare to examine deeper, to delve beneath our consciousness, we discover the harsh reality of our own reckonings. We swore to ourselves, to the ancestors, and most earnestly to the children that in the face of atrocities to fellow sentient beings -no matter where in the world-that we would never again tolerate it. Never. Period. And yet -the horror, exists and continues and here we are living and able to attest to it.
If you’re like me- we’ve been wrangling with the notion of getting caught up in contemplating love and being love, of loving and being loving as being an exercise of sentimental luxury yet cognitively understanding the necessity of it -it being, love and loving. Not only for the sake of restoring our own personal humanity but also our collective one.
And if you’re like me- we’ve wondered how then can we indulge in self-love at such a time. How? Why? Below, you will find some ways you can develop a self-love practice.
It’s imperative that you continue to love and be the love we need. When we each do our part it does make a difference.
Here are some organizations that you may wish to consider offering your additional support and love:
Throughout time in all the cultures of the world, our ancestors - the elders, thinkers, mystics, philosophers, and *spiritual leaders have given us illumination and insight into the power of love to transform.
They remind us that the most fundamental act of love is truly and genuinely self-love -that is, love of Self.
All too often it seems like the most difficult to practice and do.
It’s a whole lot easier to profess and show our love to another so that they can know how much they are loved. Somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that we are not deserving or worthy and withhold such honoring from our own .
Lack of self love breeds physical and intrapsychic imbalance and dis-ease. It’s often what propels us into fervently seeking out love -sometimes in all the wrong places and from others who themselves are striving for congruence of who and what they are as love.
You can find the love you want and be the loving person you know yourself to be.
How to practice self-love:
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation -including meditation with the birds, deep breathing, or body scan exercises to cultivate present-moment awareness and non-judgmental acceptance of yourself. In doing so you can also:
Cultivate self awareness: Give attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without judgment. Notice your patterns of the quality of your self-talk and how you feel.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a dear friend. Acknowledge your struggles and mistakes and remind yourself that imperfection is part of the human experience
Celebrate Your Strengths: Grant yourself permission to focus on your strengths, talents, and accomplishments. Remember to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and remind yourself of your inherent value for being you.
Take Care of Your Needs: Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Make time for activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment, -whether it's spending time in nature, exploring and enjoying hobbies, or connecting with loved ones by:
Setting Boundaries: Learn to establish healthy boundaries and to say no to things that drain your energy or do not align with your values and priorities.
Surrounding Yourself with Supportive People: Be intentional about surrounding yourself with people who have the capacity to uplift and support you. Also be intentional about minimizing your exposure to negative energy including toxic relationships and influences that undermine your self-worth.
Seek Professional Help when needed: If you're struggling to practice self-love or dealing with deep-rooted issues that adversely impact your self-esteem or self-worth -consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and assistance that is tailored to your specific needs.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Become aware of negative self-talk and immediately challenge them by reframing such thoughts with positive affirmations and self-compassionate statements. Treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement that you would offer to a loved one.
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Forgive Yourself: Release the shame and guilt of past mistakes and regrets by practicing self-forgiveness. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning rather than sources of debilitating self-blame and remaining stuck.
In the end -it is unconditional self love that anchors you and allows you to love others fully and unconditionally. It’s a process that requires you to practice, be intentional, and trust being vulnerable -savor your efforts and the process.
PEACE + BIRDS.
with love, Tammah